Gypsy

Some days, well right now most days, I wish I was a clam. Or something of that nature. I don't know what it's like to be a clam, but they lack complex social relationships and emotions (at least in the human sense). NOFX says clams have feelings, too (actually they don't). Wisdom from pop culture.

On the other hand, you can probably guess that I recognize the wonder and beauty that comes with such a large neo-cortex and complex social relations, so I don't really want to be a clam...(?) But the power of our enlarged cerebral cortex comes with a price. A large one.

Suddenly I found myself as Erin the instructor, Erin the graduate student. Moving into a Brave New Phase. It's scary and exciting. It's full of promise, uncertainty, doubt, growth, and soul-searching. Once, everything was clear. And now, it's muddled again.

Complex social relations means complex emotions and situations. Hats off to natural selection! Thanks for this  very large neo-cortex, but some days I feel the price is too high.

How 'bout those clams?

Paradigm shifts, transience, Texas, relational ecology, scissor-tailed flycatchers.

Do I miss the way it was? That depends. The way it was, and has always been, changing at a rapid pace.

I'm in the infancy of yet another phase; one (hopefully) set to begin next fall. The winds may have something else for me.

Will the nightmares and patchy sleep end when this is all resolved? Will it ever be resolved? Will the headaches cease? What more do I need?

Things are currently volatile, sometimes hostile. And hot.

Although, wouldn't you know, it rained today. Poured. Thunder roared and lightening flashed. The limestone kept the water on the roads. I left the umbrella at home and walked in the rain.