Sunset

6 more days until I arrive in Minneapolis, MN. My excitement is difficult to express in words. I cannot believe that Christian is getting married. It feels unreal. While talking to my dad tonight,

"Dad, can you believe that Christian is getting MARRIED next Saturday?"

"Isn't it somethin'?," he replied.

I have been dreaming about the upcoming event all week. Last night I had a dream that I forgot my bridesmaid shoes in TX. 

Am I even the same Erin that left Minnesota in July? In some ways. But I have changed a great deal. My whole life is changing at a rapid pace. My brother is getting married next week. Imaging the ceremony feels like a dream, not real. I am very happy for you. I am grateful that you asked me to be a bridesmaid and that I get to celebrate with you. 


"Home is not really a place, but more a place in your head," a friend told me today.


I certainly felt that way frequently as an older child and teenager. 


"You make your own home," he continued.


Indeed.

Reflections over black coffee

I recently had my feelings hurt, but my only choice is to just let it go. Sometimes it is difficult to just get over something, but I have found that in many cases, it is for the best. I stepped back and reminded myself that the bigger picture is more important. I asked myself, "will this matter in a month? In a year? In ten years?". Probably not. The offending action still hurts a little, but the upcoming event is too important for people that I care about that I just have to let it go. In the past, I would have held a grudge for a while. Months maybe. Life is too short. Oh, how far I have come.

"Blake, are you excited that are going to Minnesota in ELEVEN DAYS?!!?"


"Yea, but it is bittersweet."


"Well, I know it's only four days, but at least we are going!"

I wish we were staying longer, too. But, I will take four short days over no time at all. All this time that I have lived in Texas, I have known that a wedding in November would bring me back to the place I love. After this, uncertainty is the name of the game. I have no idea when I will make it back to Minnesota after next week.  The good news is that my mom and Auntie Cheryl are coming to visit in January. And hopefully my dad and Josh will come next spring...? (Hint, hint if you are reading!) 


My cousin Patrick will not be attending the upcoming nuptials. Lt Laine is Germany and will not be able to take leave from the Army. He will be missed. We wish you were coming, Lt Laine. I am serious when I say that I am coming to visit you next summer. I'll be at the Frankfurt airport next August. I'll be there. 





 

Time

It is difficult to focus. All I think about is going to Minnesota in just two weeks. I am looking forward to seeing my parents again. The reunion with those you miss after an extended period of time is a grand moment. 


The day I arrived in Minneapolis after four months in Hawaii was an unseasonably warm day in December. My phone had died and I was uncertain if Blake knew where to pick me up. I was frantic and near tears when I turned around and spotted him walking towards me smiling. It was surreal and wonderful. And it was like we were never apart. 


When I arrived at my mother's house, she came out of the front door at the sight of Blake's car in the driveway. She was smiling and it was like no time had passed. When I saw my dad, the same phenomenon occurred. It was as if no time had passed. I can't wait for those moments to happen again. 

I miss my parents. I miss my brothers. 

Two more weeks. An interruption to madness.