Thoughts in September

There were once days, that started when I was just a teenager, that I sat in a classroom laboratory listening to a graduate student teach us about challenging and foreign concepts.

Now I am the instructor. I had a frustrating moment in my first section today. For those of you who know me well, you may have assumed that I started to cry and possibly had a small meltdown. You will be pleased hear that I did not experience either, I solved the problem after a few sighs and about two minutes of awkward silence.

Two minutes felt like a lifetime in the stuffy classroom with twenty pairs of eyes gazing on me. But there is a bright side.

I think humility goes a long way. I feel that my students are comfortable in the classroom. I truly enjoy teaching and I would like to improve my skill.

"Who am I becoming?" I thought after my second section this evening.

Suddenly I am graduate student Erin and instructional assistant Erin. This time around, I quite calm. My stress management techniques improved greatly. Thank you, modern medicine and exercise (among many things). I have an office. I recently purchased a ridiculously awesome phone. Technology is just crazy.

Remember having AOL and dial-up internet? My first cell phone was a large, clunky Nokia with a pink leopard print case. I used to put it in a back pocket of my jeans for the first phase of high school. I have certainly come a long way.

Lately, I have been more interested in the history of science and the human endeavor. Everything is always changing. Nothing is static, everything is dynamic. Science cannot prove anything true; scientific knowledge is not absolute.

Most of my peers do not like the development seminar we are required to take as IA's, but here's a (no longer) secret: I like it. I am interested in the history of science and science education. I hope to be a science teacher, even for just a few years.

I will watch the Gophers play tomorrow in North Austin with some people I met through the U of M Alumni-Austin Chapter. Good times.

Saturdays are still difficult, I miss crisp autumn air, the scent of senescence and the apple orchards. I miss my dad, my brothers, and my mom.

But, I am still glad to be here. I have been very lucky, indeed.